I Love You Yet I Hate You
by Quiet Harmony-chan
Summary: It started when France insulted the manager of the Hotel. Canada then lets all seven of the other G8 countries to stay at his place. It wouldn't be so bad if the Canadian Provinces didn't mind them staying over either.
1. Ya know what life sucks

Canada sighed as he took in the sweet smell of maple syrup as he poured it on his pancackes. It dripped down in a lazy way that absolutely went with his whole feeling on the day. The sun wasn't shining, the air was frigid, and his brother hadn't called him to ask where he had left his remote, everything was perfect. That is until the phone started ringing. Canada's light blue eyes snapped open and he glared at the phone, ordering it to stop...it didn't. He got up from his walnut wood table and stalked to the black cordless phone inoccently sitting in its charger.

"Hello?"

"America why are you answering Canada's bloody phone?!"

"It's Canada..."

There was a moment of akward silence until the Brit continued to speak.

"Ah, sorry you both sound the same...Anyway a meeting was supossed to be held at your house, but the seven of us got kicked out of the hotel."

"How?"

"The damn Frog tried to speak in the Native language here and apparently insulted the manager."

"No! You can't stay...Not that I don't want you to, but"

"Perfect! We'll be there in a few hours."

With a loud click Britian hung up on him without even a goodbye. Canada stared at the phone in horror then set it back on the charger before sitting down to his food. "What am I going to do?" He muttered to himself as he looked around the large table that sat thirteen people. He had enough room for them but...He sighed and shook his head again deciding to ignore the issue. That is until a crash was heard from upstairs and a blonde teen flew down the stairs. "Papa!" A French accented voice screamed. Canada looked up to see Quebec staring at him with large violet eyes."Papa! Alberta is being stupid and old fashioned about my clothes!" Canada just stared at her for several moments. She wore a tight plum purple shirt and tight dark blue jeans. Her blonde shoulder length hair was tyed in two ponytails giving her a "Loli" look with light pink ribbions in them.

"Change you clothes please." The girl just stared at him for several minutes. "Why?" He gestured to her clothes in a tired manner. "They're a bit tight, eh?" The blonde scoffed and shook her head. "This is what's IN." A moment later another girl came down the stairs being much diffrent form the first. Her light brown hair was tied in a loose bun and had a daisy in it. Her long skirt was light pink and she had a loose cream blouse on. Her dark grey eyes flashed with a furry. "Father, what she's wearing is ridiculous! She looks like a common street whore!" Canada quickly stood up and grabbed both girls by the arms and hugged them both to his strong chest."Now let's all be nice, we're a family and families aren't supossed to argue." The girls' curses were simply muffled.

Canada let them go and went back to the table. "It's time to eat some food so go get your other sibilings, we have something importaint to discuss." Alberta nodded and went back up the long staircase, but Quebec plopped down without even saying anything. Canada gave her a stern look, but she ignored it in favor of taking out her I-phone. Cursing and crashes filled the upper rooms again and a blur of people ran downstairs. Canada sighed as he stared at all of them as they sat down, the feeling of anger towards Britian filled his heart. "Some of my co-workers will be staying for a week." He announced.

His kids stared at him for several seconds before Ontario scoffed. "Dad I hate to tell you this, but they're all crazy and weird and not nearly as kewl as I am." Everyone around him rolled their eyes at his words. "Oh shut up you damn stuck up! You're just as afraid as these people as you are of snow!" Quebec snapped at her brother. Nova Scotia gave a deadpannish look towards her. "Takes one to know one don't ya think?" Quebec stood up and pointed a thin finger towards the scottish sounding man. "Well at least I'm not always drunk!" The red head shrugged and took out a bottle of beer from behind his back. "I'm not a whore or envyin' Saskatchwan's breats." Said nation blushed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Leave me be."

Canada sighed and shook his head. "Now guys please don't start fighting. If we hurry up and let the guests in we can hurry and let them leave." They all stared at Canada getting idenical smirks on their faces. Their father paled slightly when he remembered what those looks brought last time. The effing 1999 incident. He shuddered as he got a flashback of it and the sudden urge to drink.

"You have to give us each twenty thousand dollars." New foundland said. Ontario rolled his eyes. "Of course twenty thousand would look like a lot to you Newfie." Newfoundland glared and his twin Labrador held his knife in a threatning manner. "Shut up." Ontario flipped him the bird and grinned when his brother stood up and was about to pummel him when Canada cleared his throat.

"Alright twenty thousand dollars." British Columbia raised his hand next. Canada tilted his head towards him. "I want to be able to smoke." Quebec grinned and gave her brother a high five. "Now anything else;and Quebec if it has anything to do with seperating then sit down." New Prince Edward Island raised his hand.

"Can I PLEASE change my name!" Canada raised an eyebrow. "Why? it's not like you're female and have an issue like Mississippi...even though he's a guy." The island provience glared with a look that the devil may cry. "I'm only known for that fucking book! Everyone calls me Anne, do you know how undignified that is! It doesn't help that I have red hair!" Canada sighed and thought about it for a moment. "Sure just as long as you guys let the guests stay." Alberta stood up. "I think that Saskatchwan should stop trying to get my oil." The black haired province rolled her eyes. "I only did it once." Alberta shrugged. "That once cost me five dollars." New Brunswick smiled a sickly sweet smile as she raised her glass of gin. "I think I speak for all three of us when I say keep the poison comin'!" The other maritime provinces whooped happily. Canada let out a sigh of relief. "Alright if that's all I'll call our guests and we can get this show on the road." Everyone scurried off leaving Canada by himself staring at a messy table."Or we can let it crash."

**...**

**A/N: Hey guys! So I wanted to write about the Canada's provinces for a while now and I finally did. Seeing as I've never left the States can any of you Canadians out there can give me sterotypes or facts about the land up north it would be appreciated. So thanks for reading and please review!**


	2. Hello!

**A/N: Hi guys! After seeing that nine people followed and two faved and four reviews I was like 0_0 I need to update and thus I did! Sorry for the crappy grammar and spelling I did the best I could. Now to thank my reviewers!**

**Doitsu no Joso: Thanks for the recomendation, it did help a bit. I shall and I hope this was good! Thanks for the review.**

**Kitsunefighter12: I'm glad it was. I guess I did update whether it was soon or not is up to you.**

**Random Canadian: Thank you sooo much! I will edit the first chapter next time I update. I was unsure on certain things, even though I did my research, because people would put different things down and whatever. The stereotypes also give me a good idea about a few gags and the like. Thank you so much and don't worry about the length of the review, it made me happy to read it!**

**CountryHick29: Wow. This has to be the most info I've gotten for Sask and most other provinces. Thank you so much. I was just about to post when I found that this had another review. All the info you guys have been giving me will be more used in the next chapters. These are more introductions on who the provinces are and bringing in the nations. I feel like I'm ranting. XD**

**...**

By that afternoon all the provinces and territories were busy cleaning and other chores. Now this wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't for who was pairing with who. Alberta was in the kitchen cooking with Manitoba, who was really doing the cleaning, and ordering the others around.

"Quebec make sure you and Ontario finish up the guest rooms." She snapped when she heard some arguing. She didn't receive an answer, but was fine with it ,she didn't want to deal with them anyway. While she was rolling out some dough Yukon walked into the room. She was one of the older looking territories, and the only reason for that was because most people knew about her.

"A'Bert' Saskat'wa' w'nts t' b'rro' a fe' pot's." Alberta stared at the brown haired girl for several seconds with narrowed eyes. "Have you been smoking British Columbia's stuff or drinking the Maritime's 'poison'? You sound drunk or high or something."

"No."

"Why did you say that word right?"

"I a'way' sa' wor's rig't"

"See you're doing it again."

Yukon shook her head and walked away muttering to herself. She went out the back door and into the frigid cold and down the concrete path which was slick with snow. While walking she could hear screaming coming from the upper guest bedrooms. She stopped and tilted her head to the side so she could listen.

"Why can't you stop being so damn American!"

"Stop acting like a French prick Quebec!"

"Shutup Fatass."

"Really? At least I eat all you ever do is-"

**I'm sorry we had to cut this so you young innocent people won't get ideas on weight loss.**

Yukon just stood their listening until she heard a light boing sound. "Sask'twa' fou'd me." She muttered before turning around and seeing a teen with dark brown hair in a braid and light blue eyes. her arms were crossed under her large chest. "Please finish sweeping the green house. I'll be around eventually to put a few plants away." Yukon watched the girl leave then trotted back to the greenhouse.

Saskatchewan was probably one of the saner ones in the was very quiet and preferred to be away from the family house. This situation probably confirmed her reasons why. Alberta had asked her to go to the guests rooms and do damage control on the two rowdy provinces, but instead she was playing judge. She had her hoe in hand and had her cowboy boot clad foot on Ontario's back while a trembling Quebec was chained to the bed.

"Now dear why were you trying to strangle Quebec." Ontario rolled his eyes. "Why do you think I was strangling her? ACK!" She had jabbed her heel harder into his back. "Now dear, I need you to get up and apologize to her." The black haired male turned his head a bit. "WHY! I didn't do anything! She was the one going on and on about some erotic book she bought." Saskatchewan was conservative that meant no dirty books, no matter how sexy the cover male was.

"Is that right?" She asked in a sickly sweet voice.

More screams could be heard all through the house and then some...

**...**

Canada was organizing some papers at his desk when the smell of baked chicken wafted into the room. He felt his stomach growl in anticipation. Screams he could ignore, his children drunk he could ignore, even Ontario on fire he could ignore but food...

"It wouldn't hurt to take a bit, eh Kumjino?"

"Who are you?

"I'm Canada."

All the while he was picking up the white polar bear and was going down the long stairway. His thoughts on his main objective food, that is until he saw Newfoundland and Labrador sitting in a very clean living room. You could practically see the sparkle glinting off the windows or was that ice. "How did you guys get done so fast with this room?"

Labrador looked up with heavy lidded amber eyes. "We g't do'e cleanin'." Canada walked up to a bookcase filled with diffrent crystal decorations and pressed a finger against it, not a speck of dust. "Really? You managed to get it done in an hour?" Newfoundland shrugged. "It wa' ea'y I gue's. Unli'e you al' we can't a''ord a maid, i'n't that ri'ht Lab." His twin nodded. "O' cou'se 'Foundland." Canada just walked away with a new found respect for two of his poorest kids...And an idea to fire all the richer kids' maids.

**...**

When Canada made it to the kitchen he was met with a grouchy looking Manitoba who was scrubbing a pot. "Dad you need to tell the girl to stop cooking so freaking much." Canada raised an eyebrow at his tone. Out of all his kids Manitoba acted like him the most, so when he was actually pissed off it was a bad sign. "I'm sure she's just excited over having guests." He turned to see Alberta doing pirouettes with a whole chicken on a platter in her hand. All over the table was a large variety of food like buns, boiled broccoli, scones, cookies, wurst, rice balls, eight different soups, pasta, and hamburgers. "Now all we need is the alcohol and we have a party!" Canada then noticed the mug in her hand, he grabbed it and took a sip. Whiskey. Damn 1999 was really coming up on him wasn't it?

"Alberta I think you should take a break and sit with you brothers in the living room for a bit. You seem to be a bit tipsy." The brown haired girl just stared at her father for several seconds before skipping away singing an American song.

"He's got lips like sugar cane! Good things come to boys who wait! He makes my cherry pop!"

Manitoba face palmed while Canada felt his face go red. Why was his family insane?

**...**

Nanuvat was busy shoveling the side walk with his brother Northwest territory when the maritime came back from the grocery store. He looked up and noticed the alcohol "Father told you both to get some groceries." Brunswick smiled and jostled the bags that she had. "We did but booze was also on the list." The boy scoffed and went back to shoveling watching them go back into the house. "I don't know about you Pisukkaaq, but I think they were a bunch of lying demons." He muttered addressing the fox spirit sitting on the porch. Northwest just stared with a raised eyebrow. If he wanted to say anything he would probably tell his brother to stop smoking crack or to at least stop standing anywhere near B.C.

**...**

The seven G8 members stared at the large cabin with mild curiosity. It was pretty large and had a foundation of lovely grey stone. It had two stories and it looked like it could hold over twenty people. "Wow I didn't know Canada was doing so well." Britain said casually as he walked up the steps. France scoffed as he observed the house. "Why would you think 'e wasn't? I was the one to raise 'im after all." Britain turned around slowly and glared at the French man.

America just went up the stairs and yanked the door open.

"America!"

"What? I'm his bro not like this never happens."

Germany felt his head begin to pound as the others began their arguing. He was about to say something until he entered the hallway and saw a young girl with dark brown/black hair in a short ponytail with two yellow pins keeping her bangs back. She stared at the seven of them with a confused look.

"Y'u Fa'her' gu'sts?"

They all stopped arguing for a minute to stare at her. Italy bounced over to her and smiled. "Ciao bella! I'm Italy are you a friend of um..." He frowned as he tried to grapple on that guy's name. The girl's face became deadpanned "'Anada?" She said in a dull tone. Italy tilted his head to the side. "What was that I couldn't understand you." The girl rolled her dark brown eyes and walked away. America watched her go with a confused look on his face. "She looks really familiar."

Russia went to the couch and sat down and looked about the room. "Does Canada have a maid?" America shrugged. "I dun' know even if I did I wouldn't tell you." Russia gave his creepy smile. "Are you sure about that comrade?" America glared and was about to retort when an ungodly scream filled the house. Quebec ran downstairs with Ontario chasing her.

"Get back here you French slut!"

"Non! I won't let you take me alive!"

"I don't WANT you alive!"

Canada, who had appeared in the room when he heard America and Russia, managed to grab the chain that was around his daughter's neck. She hissed and rounded on him. Her steps slow and deliberate, it looked like she was planning on maiming him. That is until PEI walked in drinking a bottle of beer.

"Dad I think your guests are here."

The countries suddenly snapped out of their confused, more pervy in Germany's case, daze to echo the same horrifying word.

"Dad?"

Canada turned to look at his guests. He raised a finger then turned back to Quebec and yanked the curl on her head. She screamed then went limp.

"Sorry I had to pull Montreal to get her to calm down." He handed Quebec's limp form to PEI and then turned back to his guests.

"I guess we should get started on a quick introduction and since you all are assholes and keep for getting me, I'll go first, hello I'm Canada.

**...**

**XD This was so fun to write! Now to explain a bit.**

**1: Saskatchewan has big boobs because she is Canada's "Bread basket". Well that's what the wikipedia said is the same way so I was like -_- Let's do this. **

**2: Yukon has the messed up speech because whenever I looked up the territories weird accents would be one of the main things. **

**3: I forgot why I didn't give Nunavut one...Oh yeah!Yukon's is just a gag.**

**4:Yes Nunavut can see animal spirits.**

**5: For some reason Montreal keeps getting excluded from Quebec flamers. So I was like her curl will be this city. You guys will see what happens next chappie.**

**So why were the rowdies screaming? Why does Quebec's curl make her pass out. What's with Germany's pervy thoughts? Tune in next time to find out!**


	3. Yeah just Stange

**A/N : Dudes guess what? This has to be the most popular story I've written for Hetalia! -dances in circles- Because of this awesomness I will be writing a Christmas oneshot next week. Now off to my lovely reviewers!**

**Riialuvsanime: I don't even know where that came from XD. Is America fazed? Hmm...I don't know...Nope that's not it dear, trust me it will be revealed! **

**Kitsunefighter12: Trust me they made me sorta embarrassed to think of. Good old Quebec? So I must have gotten somthin' right. Here's what happens.**

**CountryHick29: That's good. I thought the only good part was the last sentence, apparently I was so wrong. **

**So now here is the part you all have been waiting for. The next chapter!**

**...**

America glared at Canada. "Hey! We never forget you, you just happen to disappear all the damn time."

Canada opened his mouth but was cut off by Quebec waking up. Instead of her normal snobby look she always wore, her face was a bit gentler and angelic. She looked up at the island province and gave him a sweet smile.

"Brother can you please put me down? I ought to help clean the house for Papa's guests."

"The guests are already here." Canada said in an I'm ever so patient tone. Then watched as his most stubborn daughter's eyes widened in suprise then tears began to form.

"Really? I-I don't even remember helping at all! I have to make it up to all of you." She said suddenly advancing on the nations. They were all a bit surprised. How was this the same girl who looked and sounded like a feral animal not even five minutes ago?

"Is she crazy?" China asked hesitantly.

Canada shook his head. "Just has a split personality."

Of course France saw what a nice opportunity to grab the poor girl and hold her against his chest.

"I have a way you can repay me-" **SMACK! **

Britain glared down at the blonde on the floor. "Don't say things like that to a little girl you Frog!" He then proceeded to bash his face in while France tried to block with little success. Nova Scotia, who had just entered the room with the other provinces after hearing the racket, sweat dropped.

"I guess Scotland was right, Britain isn't as mature as he tries to let on."

Canada gave a sigh. "You have no idea."

America mean while had been staring intently at the kids, adults, and teens with curiosity. He could have sworn he had seen them somewhere before. He shut his eyes as he tried to grapple onto his memories. He didn't see them when he came here last month, or last Christmas, or last Halloween, or- WAIT! It was the day BEFORE Halloween twenty years ago he had seen these kids.

"GUYS, I can't believe I forgot about you!" He then proceeded to hug the living daylights out of Ontario, who looked uncomfortable about it.

"Dud how ya hangin'?"

"Awesome I guess?"

He then hugged every single one of the other provinces. Each one, well except Quebec, was uncomfortable with a the huggy stuff. For America this was normal he had fifty plus kids and hugged them all the time, though he wasn't the best Daddy in the world, this was like a day at the amusment part for him.

After all the racket had settled down a bit Canada cleared his throat. Of course he was ignored by the nations so Nova Scotia got out his fiddle and played a rather...high cord.

**SCREEEECH!**

Everyone looked at him like he was crazy, while Canada gave him a grateful nod. "Everyone I would like you to meet my family. The kid with the red hair and fiddle is Nova Scotia." The man gave a gracious nod and went back to talking to Alberta.

"The red head next to him is PEI." The nations just stared at him for a bit before Italy tilted his head to the side.

"Ciao bella!" He then bounded over to him. "My name's Italy. Canada found such a pretty girl-" The Italian was cut off from a dark look clouding his face. An aura slowly grew around him and his green eyes filled with an unkown furry.

"I'm NOT a fucking girl! I'm a male god dammit! Do you want some fucking proof?!" He then proceeded to unbutton his khaki cargo pants. Brunswick then smacked him with the flat of her chainsaw. Everyone stared at the girl as if she was a crazy murderer. If anything they could be quite accurate she had red stuff on her jeans and her loose grey shirt, and she had a chainsaw in her hand. See perfect I'm going to kill you look.

"This is New Brunswick." Canada introduced. Alas these ingrates apparently needed either glasses or B.C should put his blunt out.

"Young man shouldn't you put the chainsaw down?" Britain asked in his obvious ignorance. Everyone knows chain saws are badass, plus Brunswick was female.

Her grey eyes narrowed to slits and she slowly turned to stare at him. She gave a sickly sweet smile and straightened up. "I hate to tell you this old man, but I'm female, meaning that now you've offended me."

England opened his mouth, but was cut off by France. "Oh you pathetic man. Can't you see this beautiful being is female? Look at her curves and the gentleness of her face, obviously female."

If France was being honest he would say that she was as flat as a board and looked like a young man. Even though she had a yellow, red, while, and navy blue stripped ribbon tied into her hair as a head band just behind her bangs. Nova Scotia then snatched up both of his siblings and began to try and calm them down.

"Next would be-" Canada was cut off by Ontario jumping up and standing in the spotlight. Wait, when the hell did that get there? He gave a cocky smile and fist pumped the air. "The name is Ontario the most epic province you'll ever lay eyes on."

That's when the gates of hell decided to open.

"No you aren't!"

"Just shut up Ontario. Just please shut. Up."

"Y'u nee' to be remind'd don't ya?"

He was then flogged by the other's who weren't being held back. Well so much for introductions, eh?

**...**

When all the ruckus had been eliminated Canada made British Columbia to show the nations to their rooms. He was definitely NOT Canada's first choice, but Alberta was nursing a hangover, Ontario was nursing a broken body, and Nova Scotia was trying to keep Brunswick and PEI from killing the nations. He would send Sask but he feared for her safety, he wasn't sure what France would do to her and didn't want to find out. Quebec was still in her "Montreal" mode and Germany had seen her in saw that pervy look on his face and it made him a bit sick. The territories refused to do it and Manitoba was invisible to them for some reason, so B.C was stuck doing the job.

He walked down the corridor with a laid back gait. "You guy's rooms are all eco-friendly and have a solar heating system." He said idley while puffing on something that smelled a tad sweet.

America coughed when some got in his face. "What are you smoking?" He asked when it cleared away. The brown haired guy shrugged not really listening to the question.

In his own mind these nations were just people who needed to boost up their economies and start getting more into eco friendly products. Most people thought he was this way because he was a hippie, which wasn't entirely the case. He had been around long enough to truly love nature and all its beauty. In the last hundred years industry was slowing killing mother nature and one day she wouldn't be there.

He didn't actually even have anything against the nations either. He helped out Japan once, and got a boat load of money to help after that last disaster of his. He was willing for foreigners to come in and even spoke more than just English and French. He loved Chinese, Korean, and a diverse amount of aboriginal languages. To him this would be a huge opportunity.

In the nations mind it sorta was going like this though. Who was this crack head?

**...**

"Okay here are the guests rooms, unfortunetly since all thirteen of us are staying ya'll got only three rooms?" He frowned and counted them out, yup only three. "Yeah, three rooms to choose from so yeah..." He took a puff and then went into his pocket and grabbed three keys.

"Have fun..." He took another puff and walked away.

The nations just watched as he walked away down the stairs. They then turned back to the three closed doors then back to each other.

"So." France said slowly. "I suppose I will stay with Italy." The smaller nation just oh'ed not really liking that idea. Germany glared at him.

"Do you think I'm a moron? I know you'll do something that would make Playboy look innocent!" Everyone just stared at him.

"Dude how do you know anything about playboy?" America asked getting an evil glint in his eye. This was going to be one hellish arrangment.

**...**

Downstairs all the provinces were just sitting around their father.

"So why were you screaming earlier Sask." Alberta asked while rubbing her head. She could care a less about Ontario, he was a jackass that needed a kick in the ass. Of course she has yet to meet one guy who had been around much longer, and terrorized more people with his ego.

"Oh, Quebec-dear just snapped."

Over in the corner Quebec had a sweet innocent face as she happily twirled around like a ballerina. "Don't you just love being part of this country?"

**...**

**a/N : Gangam style! -cough- sorry just had to say that. Anyway nothing much else to say other than I need to go obsess over Hetaoni and Hetahazard and maybe update my Hetahazard fanfic. Clone Prussia makes me sad. **


	4. Fuck 'em!

**A/N: Hallo! Hello! Bounjour! Konichiwa! Yo! How are you guys? Me I'm suffering from the back stuff of the flu, so yeah that's where I've been all this time. I WILL get that Christmas special out just not today. So now let's answer some reviews!**

**Galad Estel: I did she's the one running around with a chainsaw. Unless you mean a part like Quebec and B.C. where a quirk is shown. I'll be doing that soon just not now.**

**Kitsunefighter12: Lol I'm glad you liked it! I was going to make Montreal a character, but I watched Lord of The Rings recently and watched Smeagol/Gollum and was like. Holy shit it's Quebec when she wants to leave. Yes like America and another person we all know. In fact that person will be introduced in a few chapters for a funny reason shown in the next chapter. B.C did freak them out huh? Mission accomplished! I though B.C is super diverse if not cracky and would be all zen like when he's not super high. That will come up trust me. I've always seen Germany as more of a perv ever since one episode from season one. More moments like that will show up some with Quebec being the perv. Well here ya go!**

**Guest: Yes, yes he does. Thanks and I'm going to be showing that VERY soon. I respectfully disagree...TEXAS FTW! **

**Lol so guys I hope you like this chapter and I will be updating soon.**

**...**

The next morning China woke to the sound of crashing. He moaned and turned over slamming the goose feather pillow over his head. He had nearly forgotten that he was in...What was his name again? Oh! Canada's house and that he had insane kids. How had he almost manage that crime?

"China we should be getting ready for the meeting." Japan muttered from his place on the floor. China wriggled his way out of the covers. "You go down there with those insane children then." He snapped while throwing his blanket off and stepping on Japan.

He went to his suitcase and looked for his clothes just to find only paper there. He shrugged it off and opened the second one he brought and frowned when all he found was England's scones molding in his bag. Only America had access to those western evils. He slammed the bag shut and marched out the room ignoring Japan's curious look. He went to the second room without knocking and was mentally scared by what he saw. A naked Italy was spooning on Germany while France lay naked on the floor.

"What the hell!"

**...**

Downstairs the provinces and territories were all cooking while Canada supervised.

"NorthWest don't let the plates break. Quebec please at least pretend you're helping. New Brunswick go cut some wood please."

The provinces did as he said trying not to curse him out because they wanted their twenty grand. The dining room had been transformed from just a hunter's lodge look to a five star restaurant. The long table had a white table cloth and the best china had been brought out. Silverware had been polished and brought out of some random ale glass. All of it had been going well until they heard a scream.

"What the hell!"

Everyone stopped what they were doing to look above them.

"Was that...One of the nations...?" B.C asked while taking a puff on his pipe. Labrador slowly set down the coffee pot and then everyone at the exact same time rushed up the stairs.

When they finally go there they saw a red in the face China a tired, and naked, France just lying on the floor, Germany who was trying to shove Italy off and failing, and Italy just lying there sleeping ignoring all the spectators. Canada turned a dark red and disappeared back down the stairs dragging a rape-faced Quebec behind him.

"Duuuuuuuuuuuuude!"Ontario said laughing as he took out his camera. This had to be the best bit of blackmail since he found Alberta doing jello-shots on other people's stomachs. Man was that amazing or what?

Germany threw a pillow at the provinces. "Get the hell out!"

They all laughed and exited the room most of them happily chatting in French just to tick the fuming nation off.

**...**

Half an hour later all the other nations were downstairs and had by now heard about all the lovely things that had happened this morning.

"You three are disgusting." Alberta announced to the breakfast table.

America laughed. "You thought that was bad you should've seen them at the World Conference six years ago. Total hell I tell you."

The provinces all looked at each other, they bet it was.

"Today we should go to the meeting building so we can get this conference done." Germany announced when the awkward silence was a tad too much.

Canada stopped mid bite. "You all stay out of the guests rooms." He gave Ontario the hardest glare of all.

The province gave Canada an offended look. "I have no intention of going into a bunch of old guys room. I have way too many things to occupy myself with, plus I need to get on my epic song.

The others groaned in pain. Ontario was a heavy metal enthusiast and the whole of Canada knew it.

"Yes well try no to blow up the house."

If only he knew those words would be the catalyst for the next horrible evil to come from the deam- I mean provinces.

**...**

When the nations went out the door Alberta immediately went over to the liquor cabinet and grabbed her whiskey. Seeing that Alberta, the closest thing to responsibility they had well Manitoba too, was going drunk they all went to go act crazy. Quebec went to go watch her yaoi porn and Ontario was already head banging to some song about dead people. Nunavut had went to his room to talk to a rat spirit and Northwest had followed him. Yukon was skating outside with Sask watching her from the greenhouse. Manitoba had gone off to read a book on fishing and Brunswick was going to hang out in his room just because. Nova Scotia was joining Alberta in getting drunk, and the twins were in there room watching a movie.

That left PEI.

And he wanted to completely fuck up the nations stay here.

Now PEI was actually that casual guy who could make the world his drinking buddy, as long as you didn't say he looked like a girl. How did he even look like one anyway? He had short red hair and large green eyes, truth be told he almost looked like England if he had muscle and the faded look of a beard, he always wore old jeans and a thick black jacket so what's with him being a girl?

Well it would no longer be mentioned because he was going to go against his Dad and blow shit up. He cackled as he went up the stairs and into the room where France, Germany, and Italy were staying in. Now was the time to strike, now was the time for revenge well and porn, since he found a playboy magazine in a bag with a German flag.

**...**

After two awesome hours of looking at girl PEI felt he was ready to fuck up a life. Starting with the larger blonde. If he was going to have to deal with broken bones he wanted it to be early. PEI searched through the bag and found other magazines, these in German, and a few book about living with Italians.

"So he has a thing for Italians then? That would make so much sense about him hanging out with Italy. No smart person would hang out with someone so stupid. It could be an infectious disease, before you know it you could be talking like them."

He continued browsing until he found a cellphone. PEI snatched it up and looked through the numbers. All of the names were in German wasn't that nice? Of course there were a few human names, but the country ones were all illegible.

"Damn to think I would have some fun. He frowned when he saw a strange one at the top of the list. All it said was mein bruder.

"What the fuck does that mean?"

He went to the computer in the room and clicked on google translate.

"My brother? Damn that must suck balls."

He suddenly gave an evil look and began writing something on paper then clicking it into google translate. He was going to blow shit up alright, in fact he was going to blow it out of the water.

**...**

**So this was going to be shorter, but I love you guys. So here's a quick thing on the provinces quirks.**

**B.C: Actually a philosopher when he's not higher than the sky.**

**Quebec: Split Personality.**

**Nunavut: Can see animal spirits.**

**So there you go. Now what is PEI doing? How will everyone survive during the meeting? When will Alberta go to an alcoholic meeting? All will be answered soon.**


	5. Craziness continues

**A/N: So yes this last chapter sucked...How do I know that? Because no one reviewed! So the Christmas chapter will be put up this Thursday. Now onto the story! **

**...**

Canada was in hell at the moment, well to be fair hell wouldn't be able to contain Russia. Russia was way too evil for that. The first meeting was going poorly and WWIII had more or less begun. France was supossed to be telling his ideas, but instead they turned out to be mostly insults at Britian. America was adding fuel to the fire by saying that China's stuff would be better to use, which caused Japan to lecture both China and America on how they were killing economies. Italy was sleeping and Germany was looking throough some documents that needed his attention. Russia was happily watching them all with his creepy smile.

Canada shuffled through his papers and noticed one was a note written in French. The note was sloppily written so he guessed it had to be Ontario's hand writting.

"Center of the world!" It read in bright orange pen.

What was that suppossed to mean? That Onatrio was the center, he would think so, or the fact that Canada was? He wished that B.C was here and tell him the secret message. He may act like a crack head at times, okay most of the time, but he was good at this kind of thing. Canada checked his watch and nearly face palmed. This meeting was never going to end was it?

He looked back down at Onatario's note. Maybe he could be just a little demanding today. Make a bit of a fuss with the rest of them, maybe then he would be noticed. He slowly stood up and went over to the brawl rolling his hands into fists. He grit his teeth, took in a deep breath, and...

"Britian you cooking is rather bad, America you're sometimes a dick, France you are a horrible influence, Germany my engineering is better, Italy pasta is not the best food, Japan anime and manga sucks, China your products are even worse, and Russia you scare everyone you meet."

"Who said my cooking is bad?"

"It's day time! Ghosts aren't around in he day time!"

"How would a ghost even know this...Unless it's been haunting me since I did that April fool's joke a few years ago..."

"I don't care for your games America."

"Zzzz..."

"Everyone has an opinion Ghost-san."

"My products are the best! Even spirits respect them!"

"Allow me to send you to hell comrade."

Canada jsut stared at them all with a flase smile. "Even insulting them won't grab their attention."

**...**

When the nations returned to the house they were suprised to find it clean, orderly, and the provinces all watching a horror film.

"I thought they would destroy it, aru."

Canada gave the provinces a look. The house was NEVER clean unless he over saw it. Something was up and in all honesty...he didn't care. Today had sucked enough that Onatrio could have rigged the place to blow and he would laugh.

Bruinswick jumped up and stopped the nations from going upstairs. Her eyes shown with an almost unholy excitment as she clasped her hands into a pleading motion.

"Would you all like to go fishing on my boat?"

All the provinces froze and turned to stare.

"Fishing? What do you have out there?" America asked.

Bruinswick shrugged. "Lots of stuff. Alberta's making fish tonight, so I wanted to catch the good stuff for us to eat."

America put his arm around her. "Sounds like fun to me."

Britian adjusted his tie. "I supposs I can go with the two of you. Mostly to make sure you don't drown America."

France slid inbetween New Bruinswick and America to go up the stairs. "I'm afraid I'll have to decline. You can thank you Grandfather for that one."

"I'll go, if you both don't mind." Japan volunteered.

"I'm going too!" China shouted suddenly wanting to hang out with Japan.

Russia smiled. "I'll come too. I haven't gone fishing in quite a while."

Canada sighed and sat down next to Yukon and Manitoba.

"Want me to make sure she doesn't kill them?" Manitoba asked.

Canada just shrugged. He couldn't give a damn at this point.

**...**

About six miles down from the house was an exptionally large lake. It was a dull grey, blue, green today since it was cloudy. The ice, and most of the snow, had melted but the water looked choppy.

"Are you sure we can go out there today, Bruinswick?" Manitoba asked while following her around on the boat.

Bruinswick picked up some rop and knelt down to tie it around Northwest's waist. "Of course! Today we should get some good stuff. If anything we should wait until the rain hits."

Maintoba sighed and rubbed his temples. Why did all of his sibilings have issues?

"You know you can't be an-" He was cut off by America.

"Dude look what I found!"

He was holding up a very old looking black captain's naval hat. Maitoba panicked slightly while New Bruinswick gave an almost insane smile.

"Thank you America."

She slwoly took it and took off her ribbion. She put he hat on her head and pointed to the horizon.

"Time to sail!"

**...**

It was dark while Yukon was doing some coloring. Even if her body had matured, her actual mind was that of a ten year old. Publicity did that to you. Alberta was flipping the salad and Nova Scotia was drinking some rum with Canada.

"I wonder if they'll survive." Alberta said in a unconcerened voice.

Nova Scotia set his bottle down. "If they keep drinking up all my rum, I may have to hurt someone."

Canada just swirled his drink around. He wasn't too worried, afterall Manitoba could be responsible...when he wasn't bribed...

The door suddenly slammed open to reveal a faceless man! No it was America and co. Drenched to the bone and pale in the face. Not Bruinswick though, she was laughing and waving her hat in the air.

Britian snatched Canada's drink from him. "Your daughter is crazy." He informed him, before downing the whole bottle.

Nova Scotia stared at the bottle then got up and stormed out of the room. New Bruinswick took his spot and handed Alberta a large container full of water.

"Eight fish sister." She said brightly.

Alberta looked in and gave Bruinswick a deadpannish look. "You ended up catching these with your hands, yes?"

"Yes." The nations all said at once.

Bruinswick just laughed. "Of course! How else do expect to catch big fish without deep seaa fishing gear?"

Canada luaghed quietly. That was his little adrenaline junkie.

**...**

**A/N: Okay so here's you chappie for the qeek. I hope you all liked it as much as I loved to write it! Oh! I have a sorta companion fic to this called **_**Yeah they're mine**_**. It's about America's kids though and how they're going to be helping to make a...Well you'll have to read it. The provinces will be in it too as well as other provinces from other countries. So thank you so much for reading!**


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